great.. i jus told my mom tt i'm tired of studying.. i told her accounting is also not wat i really in love wif.. lolx.. actually i dun really noe wat i like to study.. i dream of being a vet but i noe very clearly tt i'm poor in sci.. i like to take care of children but tt kind of jobs wldn pay much.. thought of being a beautitian but i'm not tt pretty wif not much of a figure.. lolx..

but i told my dad last nite tt no matter wat i will still try my very best to finish my degree in accounting n finance wif a first class or second upper class honors.. lolx..

tis is really studying to live man.. lolx..

jus when i thought its recovering, the flu bug hit me.. i started dry coughing and had massive phelgm stuck all at my nose there.. there was no way i cld blow it out or swallow it down.. it led to a weird feeling inside my head.. its sth like headache.. but its not really pain.. its like dizzy dizzy.. like my brain lack of oxygen due to my block nose..

everything got worse on thur.. my 'da yi ma' came.. i thought it will not affect me much so i jus went to teach tuition as usual.. but my head got more dizzy and pain.. my student was super naughty tt day tt i cldn stop scolding him.. i cried when i reached home.. it was unbearable.. i really wanted to bang my head against the wall.. i didn really eat much for dinner.. went to slp after some medicine around 10plus.. didn't really slp cos i was coughing the whole nite..

i thought i will recover when i wake up but was wrong.. although i felt much better, but my head is still dizzy, my nose was still blocked and i was still coughing madly.. i told myself no matter wat muz recover as soon as possible.. so i tried other possible way.. i force myself to keep drinking water.. a gd way though but it onli minimise the dizziness..

fri nite my dad told me to go see a doc on sat morning.. i told him if eating panadol still dun help i will go see.. waking up tis morning i thought the panadol had cured my illness.. so i didn went to see the doc.. but i was wrong again.. it came bac after i wake up for like 1-2hrs.. i cried again.. i cried for being so useless.. small little illness yet i can't recover within 1wk.. wasn't able to really do my revision and assignments..

can someone teach me wat i can do.. i really cannot take it le..

i onli wrote 2 para for my FI assignment 2 n i start to feel restless.. dunnoe izzit cos i slept at 2am in the morning or cos i seriously dunnoe wat to write for my assignment.. tis module is driving me crazy.. i seriously wonder how many percent of the lectures of tis module actually stays inside my head..

i somehow feel tt my goal of first class honours is getting further n further away from me..

dunnoe y so restless for tis mth.. i'm like kind of busy.. partly for my own stuff n partly for other ppl stuff..

have to stay really focus.. i can't afford to lose anymore time le..

or can i not aim for a first class? lolx..

i can't help but keep recalling a part in ytd charity show.. the 6yrs old blind korean gal.. i seriously watch her performance until wan cry.. its so touching.. even though her current mother knew tt she was blind, she still adopt her when the little gal was 1mth old onli.. her mother so wei da.. her talent in music was onli found out at the age of 2.. the piece tt she played ytd was super.. cldn even tell tt she didn went thru properly training in music.. although God let her come into tis world without eye sight, but God blessed her with great talent in music..

i super feel like crying now.. but i can't.. cry also no use.. my dad book the tour le..

jus now i called my dad to say maybe i cannot go then he say he called my auntie le cannot dun go.. idiot la.. my younger sis also did tt tt time.. y i cannot..

i hate my life..

thx kaka.. i feel alot better wif ur love surrounding me.. lolx..

i'm not emo-ing.. its jus a feeling.. jus suddenly feel like i lost the ability to plan n do everything as detailed and as thoughtful as i can in the past..

but i will try my best.. maybe abit too long nv plan things le.. rusty le.. lolx.. jiayou!!!

wasn't feeling very gd de whole day.. was having serious flu during FI lesson.. lucky not onli me.. so i was the onli one make 'noises'.. lolx.. but tt flu wasn't onli jus flu.. i start feeling gong gong.. after tt didn really concentrate on the lesson.. haiz..

vomited when i was bathing.. tt was like finally i vomited.. lolx.. tt awful feeling make me so xing ku.. wan vomit but cannot.. didn really quite understand y i vomited instead of having headache.. i didn do much of physical exercise.. recently i tink i onli over-load my brain.. hmm.. weird.. lolx..

but having flu n vomit is better then headache.. i hate fever, sore throat n headache de most.. tis 3 i cannot tolerate.. lolx..

i guess i shld let my body rest now.. tata..