sometime i wonder.. will all my friends help me when i'm in trouble? in my memory not all.. 

i seriously going to have spilt personality soon if tis goes on.. 

i seriously dun feel much love n warmth frm my family.. my hse now become like a place for slping to me.. i will grab any opportunity to get out of the hse and stayover at ppl's hse.. my friends dun wanna to grow up so fast but for me, growing up as fast as possible is the best solution to all my probs.. or shld i say most of the probs..

i dunnoe whether choosing accountancy and finance is really the best choice for me to survive in tis world.. my friend said tt she friend told her tt its a difficult course.. i seriously have no confidence.. i also have to start the make friends cycle again.. i have been in tt cycle twice.. i seriously dun like it.. but.. no choice.. 

adding to the burden.. acceptance of local uni.. if they really send me the acceptance letter right after i start my bridging course for UOL, i really can faint.. there goes my $700++.. y can't those uni coordinate.. y muz they make our life so miserable.. haiz..

i keep super quiet when i'm in a new environment.. i bet many of u have tt prob.. but.. mine is at the serious end.. after trying so many years.. theres no improvement and its driving me crazy.. how can i blend well into any environment.. how can i be likeable and accepted by everybody.. i tried hard to blend into his environment.. initiately, i thought i did well.. but i start to find it xin ku.. i didn give up.. am still trying very hard.. 

however, there is a part where its impossible for me to change.. i'm tore in between.. both of them are impt to me.. y m i always force to make tis decision.. i jus cant get rid of it after running away frm it.. 

i do sound like a troubled kid.. being having to hide everything inside is very xin ku.. i hope to find the solutions thru enduring all tis.. 

very disappointed..

very depressed..

hard work doesn pay off..

blame myself for being so stupid..

dun wanna tok abt it..

but my leg got quite a few blueblacks.. i keep knocking until my hse furniture.. dunnoe y..

no wei kou also.. 

no mood..