~Melancholy Melody~

Monday, November 30, 2009

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i wanna cry le.. i dun even feel like going china.. but tt is the onli solution for my auntie to go.. its so obvious tt my dad is hinting me to go jus to solve the prob.. all coz of my stupid idiotic younger sis.. i hate her.. initially she say she wanted to go de.. now last min say dun wan go.. all her fault all her fault.. i alrdy super bu shuang her le.. now she make me more bu shuang her..

i super feel like crying now.. but i can't.. cry also no use.. my dad book the tour le..

jus now i called my dad to say maybe i cannot go then he say he called my auntie le cannot dun go.. idiot la.. my younger sis also did tt tt time.. y i cannot..

i hate my life..

7:38 PM

~My Melancholy~

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

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i'm still very upset by wat my dad did.. i sort of cried myself to slp.. and i nearly cried in lec todae when i told kaka abt it..

thx kaka.. i feel alot better wif ur love surrounding me.. lolx..

4:56 PM

~My Melancholy~

Monday, November 23, 2009

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I HATE MY DAD!!!! I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM!!!!! ARH!!!!!!! TOLD HIM TO WAIT FIRST LIAO LOR.. I LOOKING AT A VIDEO THEN JUS THROW MY CUP INTO THE DUSTBIN.. I HATE HIM.. WAIT WILL DIE IZZIT.. I HATE HIM I HATE HIM!!!! FROM YOUNG HE HAS NV BEEN FAIR TO ME.. I HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE TO THE MAX!!! NXT TIME MY TURN TO THROW HIS THINGS!! HE BETTER WATCH OUT！

10:23 PM

~My Melancholy~

Thursday, November 19, 2009

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was on facebk the whole day.. didn feel like doing tut or studying..

i'm not emo-ing.. its jus a feeling.. jus suddenly feel like i lost the ability to plan n do everything as detailed and as thoughtful as i can in the past..

but i will try my best.. maybe abit too long nv plan things le.. rusty le.. lolx.. jiayou!!!

10:45 PM

~My Melancholy~

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sobx sobx.. my right hand de skin started peeling.. dunnoe izzit my sch lec hall too cold n dry for my skin.. sobx sobx.. my hand not nice le.. need to go buy portable lotion to sch to apply le..

1:55 PM

~My Melancholy~

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its been like 18hrs since i last slept.. very tired..

wasn't feeling very gd de whole day.. was having serious flu during FI lesson.. lucky not onli me.. so i was the onli one make 'noises'.. lolx.. but tt flu wasn't onli jus flu.. i start feeling gong gong.. after tt didn really concentrate on the lesson.. haiz..

vomited when i was bathing.. tt was like finally i vomited.. lolx.. tt awful feeling make me so xing ku.. wan vomit but cannot.. didn really quite understand y i vomited instead of having headache.. i didn do much of physical exercise.. recently i tink i onli over-load my brain.. hmm.. weird.. lolx..

but having flu n vomit is better then headache.. i hate fever, sore throat n headache de most.. tis 3 i cannot tolerate.. lolx..

i guess i shld let my body rest now.. tata..

12:00 AM

~My Melancholy~

Monday, November 16, 2009

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i hate it i hate it.. i hate it the most when ppl mess up my notes..

my micro notes are not in order now.. its all messed up.. i'm super super upset.. i spend so much time sorting n printing all the extra notes.. but my friend jus mess up the orders when i lend it to her..

ARH!!!!!!!!! i didn wan to blame her.. but i'm feeling super upset.. i have to spend time rearranging the notes again..

i dunnoe why she can mess it up when i arrange it by chapters.. its not as if chapter 2 extra notes has wat is needed in chapter 4.. ARH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i alrdy have so much things to do le.. my FI assignment 2.. my undone tuts of cf n poa.. my revisions.. i onli manage to finish boony's guest list tis morning n settle wif gil jialin's bday schedule..

so many things had piled up.. i guess tt y i shed tears almost every nite unknowingly when i'm slping.. i do get tired de.. my parents jus tinks tt i'm a free-loader..

1:22 PM

~My Melancholy~

Thursday, November 12, 2009

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i tink sth is wrong wif me.. but i dunnoe exactly where.. i keep throwing my temper todae.. for no reason i guess.. dunnoe y.. seems to be frustrated due to sth.. but i cldn rmb.. jus feel like i'm jus wasting my life.. maybe cos i rot too much at home? but i was studying and doing my assignments at home.. hmm...

8:18 PM

~My Melancholy~

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dunnoe y i hear the tune of tis song i jus feel sad.. feel like crying.. lolx.. i'm very sure i'm not emo-ing.. lolx.. jus dunnoe y..

12:10 AM

~My Melancholy~

Monday, November 09, 2009

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lolx.. YES!! i change my music le.. change to DBSK de songs.. gracia influence me.. lolx.. she keep telling me their songs nice.. lolx.. actually is really nice.. lolx.. make me kind of hook up le.. lolx.. didn noe i can manage to change the music myself without having to trouble anyone.. lolx.. hope tt u all will enjoy the songs.. lolx..

3:05 PM

~My Melancholy~

Wednesday, November 04, 2009

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Dear's 14th day of confinement in Tekong..

Wahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha... finally the 14th day le.. YES!!! Dear booking out tml le.. finally.. oh man.. 2wks of separation is seriously long.. lolx.. gd thing is tt i'm busy wif tests and assignments tis 2wks.. so time actually passes quite fast.. lolx..

actually wanted to go 'fetch' him tml de.. but after much consideration.. i tink its better to let him go home rest ba.. so have to ren until fri then can see him.. lolx.. wahaha.. i very evil.. i want to take a pic of his botak head.. wahahaha..

super tired now.. 2 full day of lessons plus tuition.. my student even cried todae.. he told me tt his scare of his chi paper tml.. he scare he cannot pass then cannot go pri 2.. faint.. in the end i ended up staying abit longer to 'impart' him those small small techniques tt will aid him to pass his chi paper tml.. hope he rmb to use them and not panic when he see the paper..

didn get bac my poa test paper todae.. wonder when will balwant return us the test paper.. i want to noe how i fare..

9:08 PM

~My Melancholy~

Tuesday, November 03, 2009

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Dear's 13th day of confinement in Tekong..

super duper tired.. nearly fall aslp during tuition.. dunnoe y todae especially tired.. although usually tue is a tiring day for me but not to the extend of going to fall aslp during tuition.. dunnoe izzit sth wrong wif my body.. i wonder can my body take it tml cos tml still got tuition.. the last session b4 my student's chi paper and b4 he goes off for his 2wks break from tuition.. jiayou!!!

tml shld be getting bac my poa test paper.. abit worried.. i tink i demand too much from myself for poa le.. i really hope i can get full marks but somehow although i manage to balance, the balance sheet still looks weird to me.. haiz.. if cannot get full marks also cannot help it..

micro test todae was ok.. but i didn manage to finish my last Q.. got stuck halfway.. hopefully can pass.. lolx..

oh yes!!! thur is coming!!! Dear is booking out le.. YES!! looking forward to fri... 2wks nv see Dear le.. first thing to do when i see him is to hug him (provided not many ppl looking).. wahaha.. i shy ma.. lolx.. but i seriously need a super big hug from Dear..

off to slp le.. need to replenish my energy for another long day tml.. jiayou!!!

10:42 PM

~My Melancholy~

Monday, November 02, 2009

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Dear's 12th day of confinement in Tekong..

i feel like crying.. i am trying so hard to study for tml de microecons test and my mom keep asking me how to msg my sis when i taught her like 3times le.. y she always do tt to me.. i'm not her onli child but she always ask me to do tis and tt.. do she noe tt i m always deprive of the chance to use the laptop at nite cos both my sis will always snatch it to do their reports n projs.. do they noe tt i also need to use the laptop to study sometimes.. i dun understand y they can do tis to me.. it doesn mean tt i dun study in nus then i dun need to use the laptop.. another prob is both my sis onli noe how to use the laptop but dunnoe how to maintain it.. i'm always the one doing the disk cleanup and stuffs.. always me..

jus suddenly feel tt wat i have done for tis family have not been recognize..

my family members and ppl keep saying tt i m not pressurize in terms of my studies.. i felt hurt.. i dun show tt i'm pressurize doesn mean i m not.. my pressure is not where far from my sis.. at least their degree is frm nus.. mine's not.. i have to fight for a first class honors for my degree to be considered same lvl as their degree.. i'm working very hard also.. but nobody seems to realize it..

i noe i shldn be feeling tt cos God place everyone on earth for a purpose.. its jus a sudden urge to say out how i feel cos i'm feeling abit tired.. studies tired ppl mentally..

Dear.. i miss u.. i need ur shoulder to rest b4 i continue wif my journey..

2:37 PM

~My Melancholy~

Sunday, November 01, 2009

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Dear's 11th day of confinement in Tekong..

cool man.. I now using my younger sis de hp to blog.. lolx.. first time using hp de wi-fi.. of cos is tapping on my hse de wireless la.. lolx.. no choice.. my elder sis using the desktop while my younger sis using the laptop.. since my younger sis ask me to help her waste her hp batt so I decided to blog.. hehe..

got dear's present wif me now.. pastor chung howe shared the present wif me cos he also wants to get dear sth.. I flip through the bk n found tt its a gd bk.. its a bk on what old testament heros want u to know about life n leadership.. indeed a very encouraging bk.. dear, I dun mind reading it wif u! thanks pastor chung howe!

finally dear is coming out! 2wks is really long.. although dear still having sore throat but he's feeling better le.. dunno watching movie wif him on Fri is a gd decision ma cos from tis few days msg can sense tt he really need a gd long rest.. haiz.. will seriously reconsider the plan for Fri.. nth is more Impt then dear's health n letting him to have ample rest..

10:51 PM

~My Melancholy~